


Sam + 5 Things He Wishes He Could Erase From His Memory

by AvaBoo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dom Castiel, Idontknock!Sam, M/M, Poor Sam, Shipper!Sam, Sub Dean, sam kepts catching them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 23:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4037977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaBoo/pseuds/AvaBoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thank you to capsxldier.tumblr.com for the prompt!. Follow my tumblr: tardisimpaula.tumblr.com.</p><p>5 things Sam REALLY wishes he didn't have to see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam + 5 Things He Wishes He Could Erase From His Memory

Sam + 5 Things He Wishes He Could Erase From His Memory

 

1) Sam knows Dean and Cas have always had a, ‘thing,’ okay? He’s not an idiot, he went to Stanford for christsakes. So when Dean turns down Sam’s offer to work out together for the 10000th time, it doesn’t surprise him that when Cas chimes in and says it sounds fun, Dean finally accepts. And that asshole thinks he’s being subtle. A day later, Team Free Will is in workout clothes; Sam’s in real workout clothes, Dean’s in sweatpants and a tee-shirt, and Cas wearing one of Dean’s shirts and Sam’s old (and small) shorts. A few weeks ago Sam had found an old timey workout type room in the bunker, Dean had cleaned it up a bit and now all that was left was some ropes and a few dusty weights. So the boys decide to stick to things like sit-ups and push-ups and opt out of using the, ‘equipment’. Sam lays down some mats, Cas questions them about what sweat bands are for, Dean blares some Rolling Stones, and they’re off. A few hours later, Sam leaves to grab them some waters, it was actually turning out to be a productive fun time. When he comes back, Cas is on the floor doing push-ups as Dean is “coaching him”/ blatantly staring at the ex-angel’s goddamn motherfucking ass as he does push-ups. He even says the same number twice while counting the number of damn push-ups he is so distracted! Sam clears his throat from the doorway and tosses Dean the water forcefully, snapping him out of his butt-enduced trance as he fumbles to catch it. Great. Now on top of all the other shit he’s seen Dean do, he now has an image of him drooling over Cas’s ass like it’s a piece of fricking apple pie added to that list. Great.

 

2) It’s two in the morning, Sam blearily wanders into the kitchen to get a glass of water. He runs his hand along the wall until it hits the light switch, then the florescent lights flash on and burn Sam’s eyes out of his damn face. He hears a little gasp and scrubs the heels of his hands over his eyes to clear them. He _really_ wishes he hadn’t. Dean is sitting on the fucking _KITCHEN COUNTER. **WHERE THEY EAT**_ and Cas is bent over, eye level with the counter, with Dean’s dick in his mouth. Dean opens his mouth to start providing some sort of explanation, his head snapping forward from the interrupted ecstasy, but the damage is done. Sam just spins on his heels and pads back to his bedroom, deciding that going to bed thirsty is better than turning around again and looking into Cas’s sad, calm eyes, while he stands there with his lips wrapped around Sam’s brother’s fucking dick. Nope. Why did they have to do this at two in the morning? AND ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER. _THEY BOTH HAVE ROOMS._ godfuckingdamnit.

 

3) This one is probably the best of the most terrible events that have ever transpired before Sam’s eyes, because, like, really Dean??? Well okay not out of all the terrible events; not like, the, ‘Living in Hell Events’ more like all the, ‘Dean Being Gross’ events. Sam never took Dean for a PDA kinda guy, but he guesses that, ‘ex-angel boyfriend with only a base level understanding of social norms,’ must make a world of difference. Dean and Cas have apparently gone, “out,” on something that if Sam calls it a date Dean will glare daggers at him, but it has the exact same criteria of a date. So Sam decides to take a jog to town since Dean took the Impala, it’s only kind of chilly from the late November air anyways. Maybe he can look into getting some new sneakers and flirting with the cute girl who works the register of the sports store. Maybe take a nice run around the park in the quiet town center. So, after going to the store and ordering some sneakers plus getting the girl’s number, he decides to run around park a few times. But lo-and-behold, when he enters he immediately sees two bodies and something that can be easily identified as Cas’s trench coat. Nerds. Then 3 things happen: he notices that black hair isn’t coming from the head of the trench coat wearer like usual, it’s dark blonde hair… which means…. Dean pulls the coat tighter around himself while exaggeratedly rubbing his arms to warm himself. And aw, Cas gave Dean his coat. Sam takes a closer look, because, why not? This is rare and precious teasing material, he notices that they are sharing a root bear float like teenagers, which is actually disgustingly cute. THEN, CAS just grabs Dean’s face, and starts to just ravage his mouth, knocking the mostly empty float onto the ground. And Dean just lets Cas yank him around as he enthusiastically kisses back. AND THEN, _THEY START GRINDING ON THE FUCKING BENCH._ IN PUBLIC. IN A PUBLIC PARK, WITH PEOPLE. ** _PEOPLE AS IN SAM_.** Nononono it was cute and then it wasn’t. Sam runs out of the park and uses the extra energy from terror propel him back to the bunker so he can go to sleep and try to mind wipe himself. Because, just, NO.

 

4) Another time, they are on a hunt in Missouri and Dean insists that he and Cas don’t need their own room. “Cmon Sammy, I think we can handle ourselves for _one night_.” His words exactly. So Sam compiles and and gets one room, two beds. Sam is forced to go on the food run because Cas and Dean would take two years to get it with all the making out in-between every 5 seconds. Sam comes back with the bags of Chinese food and hour or so later. He knocks on their motel room door. He hears nothing, and so, he opens the door. His fatal mistake. Well he couldn’t hear anything because Dean is being gagged with a familiar blue tie. His hands are cuffed above the bed with the handcuffs that they use for fake FBI shit _goddamnit_ and Cas is straddling him. And the worst part: Cas still has some clothes on, but Dean is ass-naked. The last thing Sam needs is any more confirmation besides the already overwhelming evidence that his big brother is a total sub. “YOU PROMISED!” Sam yells, slamming his eyes shut. He tosses the food somewhere in the room and launches himself into the hall. “FUCK YOU DEAN!” He shouts over his shoulder as he as all but rans to the car. "We don’t need our own room,” they said. “We can go ONE NIGHT without fucking,” they said. “It’s a waste of money Sam.” Well SAM would have given ALL their (stolen) money to not see that shit.

 

5) This is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone ever. For some reason, Sam mentioned the Supernatural Musical he and Dean had attended to Cas. But this one is NOT all Sam’s fault. This. Is. Not. On. Sam. The next day after telling Cas about the musical, the ex-angel walks into the kitchen asking what the purpose of fanfiction is and, "why the fans think incest is sexually simulating.” Dean is still asleep so Sam takes one for the team and explains to Cas that fic is when fans write things about the characters they like, and it’s probably mostly sex stuff. Then he tells Cas to stay out of the Supernatural books/fanfic/everything, because the fact that that is still a thing pisses off _both_ brothers. But Cas, apparently, doesn’t get the message; because over the next few weeks he keeps asking Sam about fanfiction and how inappropriate they are allowed to get and what ratings are and such. So Sam, like a good friend, answers all his weird questions. Then, one day at breakfast, Cas casually mentions that the Supernatural fans really seem to like him. “Well, you’re a great character Cas.” Dean says, through a mouthful of pancakes and gives his boyfriend a slap on the back. Cas opens his mouth to speak but then closes it. After two more weeks Sam has _had it with the freaking fan fiction questions._ So he sneaks into Cas and Dean’s room to block that shit on Cas’s laptop. But when he finds and opens the offending laptop, it’s already open to a fan fiction website, but it’s the place where you _write_ the fic. In front of him is a half written fic. He scrolls up and finds the user name: BeesandBurgers, and quickly assimilates that this is _Cas’s fanfiction account_. And then for some reason, He saves the half written thing and scrolls through the things Cas has already written. There is a lot. And they have ALOT of interesting sex tags. A lot. Then he notices the descriptions on the fics. Every single one has the same description: **_These are all true events_**. Bile rises in Sam’s throat. Cas _is using Ao3 as his **personal sex diary**_ **.** And by looking at it, he is really popular. DEARGODDOESDEANKNOWABOUTTHIS. THOSE TAGS. HOW DO THEY HAVE TIME FOR THAT MUCH CRAZY SEX. _WHAT_. OH GOD. Sam actually considers drowning himself in bleach after this one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to chick-fil-slay.tumblr.com for the idea for #5
> 
> That was fun. lol. Poor Sammy.


End file.
